Κυριακή 29 Μαρτίου 2015

A STRANGE TRUTH, SCHIZOPHRENIA



A STRANGE TRUTH
SCHIZOPHRENIA
The story that I will tell you is a real fact. A short story concerning a small time period some time before, after and during a 3 days period, when I had lost every contact with reality. Afterwards, the psychiatrists – having told them almost nothing – diagnosed a serious psychotic incident. Now, after almost two years I share their expert advice that everything was a fiction, but for me that period was my own reality and everything that I am going to tell you seemed to be highly real.
The story starts some time before 24th January 2011 in Thessaloniki. In Greece the situation was already very difficult financially and I had very little work to, so there waw plenty of time to discover some new things.
I don’t remember exactly how and why it was started, but step-by-step I started realizing some things, initially indefinable and misty. At some moment I thought I was listening to a voice inside my mind, a voice recovering an uncertain Truth.
Step-by-step I started seeing the reality and the life itself differently. I had the impression that I had discovered a very good hidden global secret. Hidden inside everything, inside an unhallowed code, being everywhere from the science and finance to every religion of this world. An unhallowed code hidden inside words.
The shock was very heavy. Everything seemed to be totally different and that Monday morning I shared a part of the code on the internet, without knowing why, only impelled by an undefinite voice, which was heard inside my mind, yelling that I finally know. I did not have a single idea what would follow.
Later on, a friend of mine called me on the phone and informed me that he would come suddenly to Thessaloniki, wishing to see me.  To be honest I was afraid. It was the first time that I was hearing him like that, as he was someone else. I thought he was coming to hold me back from something without knowing what exactly.
He came in the afternoon at my office, we discussed and yes, I realized that he was not my friend. He was someone else, telling me strange things. I thought he wanted to hurt me. That moment a beloved person from the past called me on the phone and told me something that I did not understand. He advised me to go to Athens, where there was a place for people like me. He realized that I had company and I couldn’t talk and he hung up the phone.
The time had passed. I had made my friend believe that everything was fine with me and he left.  I returned home and then I heard it even stronger and cleared than ever, the voice inside my mind saying: “go away, go away now”. I don’t know what the power that impelled me was, but I took my pouch, placed some things inside and left. It was almost midnight.
I was going south, I was going to Athens, I was afraid and everything was confused. I made many kilometres and I was listening music on the radio. I thought I was listening to undefinite messages telling me that someone was trying to block me from knowing the Truth, from uncovering the uppermost secret.
Suddenly, the voice inside my mind - which I started believing that it was the voice of God -(who? I - an atheist - believed that I was listening to the voice of God!), pushed me getting out of National Road and thus, I found myself in an area located at the foothill of Olympos. Undefinite voices this time, were asking me “how did you find us? How did you find us?” and I did not know what to answer.
I stood at the end of a road. Everything was dark in front of me and I was terrified. I went a little back and I parked the car. The radio was still playing music and I thought that I was listening to messages, telling me strange things, such as: “look the life you are leaving behind, look at it for the last time”. I just switched off the radio.
I was awake during the whole night, scared and lost in my thoughts. The next morning, I went by car until the end of the road and I continued until the point that it was possible. The radio was turned off. I went out of the car and made a couple of steps, when I heard loudly, like it was inside my mind, priests chanting. The fear mastered me. I got inside my car and drove towards Athens. I turned on the radio and I thought I was listening again the messages. I was hearing that the Truth must me uncovered at any cost, that millions of people had died in order nothing to be ever uncovered and that everyone who had reached the limits of uncovering the truth faced miserable death. Once they were burned as witches. I was shaking from fear that I would face the same situation.
I reached Piraeus and for a lot of time I was driving around without any particular reason, while the radio was turned off. I started feeling that I was trapped in a strange game, in a ticktacktoe that you could never be a winner. The voice inside my mind was louder and louder and was telling me that “only Love will set you free, only Love will save everyone”.  I had absolutely no idea what was that meant and where it was guiding me.
I was feeling alone, the only helpful person crossed my mind was a woman in Athens. We had lost contact for a while but my feelings for her were strong, so I sent her a message “you know that I love you, together in life and death”. Naturally, the answer was expected. What should you reply to such a message from a sender you never had nothing special. However, for the first time I was feeling it truly.
I had to leave Athens. I was feeling that the collar was squeezing my neck, I had to leave far away and thus I begun for the airport. I was going to England, to friend of mine from my childhood.
On the way to the airport, everything I had done in the past and I felt guilty of, all the women that I hurt, all those things torturing my mind, were crossing my mind. I cried, I cried a lot and I apologized.
I arrived at the airport; I bought a ticket and waiting. I was feeling that I was someone else, or that something wanted to get into my mind. I shouldn’t get sleep, because I would be susceptible. I thought I was smell; that a bad smell was coming out of my body. I had eaten and drunk almost nothing for a whole day, I was hungry and thirsdy, but I could not eat. I was terrified.
I arrived in England. My friend came to take me from the airport. We were going at this home. Inside my confusion I tried to segmentally tell him some things, but he told me that if I insisted like that I should need a doctor. So I remained silent. We arrived at his home, which was located in a small town outside London. I made a bath and sat for dinner. I could not eat anything, so I went to bed terrified and given to the weariness, believing that when I wake up I would be lost in lethe again. However, fate and God had different plans.
I tried to fall asleep, I let myself but I could not sleep at all. I don’t know how much time had passed, but I had the feeling that someone was examining my body in detail, trying to find out what was going on, where was the problem, but unfruitfully. What had started it would not mean to stop.
Suddenly I felt that I could not move, my body was stunned, I could not open my eyes, but I was not feeling any fear at all. I started hearing many different voices, I was feeling like a council was held and I was the honorary guest. And then the voices started telling me a story.
They told my about a war, in a world far away, but at the same time very close to our own world; A war in the world of spiritual entities; A war without a winner, since the spiritual entities are Immortal. The luminous and dark spiritual entities were divided into two opponents. That war was ruthless. The luminous spiritual entities conquered and captured almost every dark entity except for one; their leader, a very powerfull spiritual entity, escaped from spiritual world and hidden in the darks between their and our own world.
The voices told me that the cost was intolerable for both sides. The war was so ruthless that every spiritual entity, participated in it, from any of the two sides, lost their spiritual entity and their consciousness were trapped in our material world inside an internal purification procedure.
They told me that His first deputy, an ancient luminous spiritual entity together with a race of luminous spiritual entities came to our world from another world even further. They walked here in earth as human beings. They told me that this race had superhuman powers and that their voice could be heard up to God. This race would be the guards of Truth and knowledge.  They would be the instructors as well as the punishers, in the purification procedure. They would be guards of the intermediate world, where the consciousness would go when the human body would die. If they had been purified they would be reconnected with their spiritual body, if not they would return again and again until their total purification. This race was dispelled all over our world and tought us the Truth and Light.
The spiritual entities, who were trapped in our world, initially knew the truth and they were continuously remembering, no matter how many times they returned, while every one of them wanted to aquire its spiritual entity again.
The voices told me that during the pass of centuries, the race who had come as a guard of truth and knowledge was gruadually decayed and its power was forgotten, but it was never lost. It was deeply engraved in the blood of its descendants.
At the same time, the dark spiritual entity, who had escaped and hid itself inside the intermediate world - as soon as the guards were gradually forgetting their power – recaptured strength. Gradually, it conquered the intermediate world and acquired confederates from our own world. Consciousnesses, which followed him either with their own will, or because they were mislead and thought that he was the God itself. To these dark consciousnesses that the dark spiritual entity kept in the intermediate wirld as confederates, the ability of controlling the human brain and awareness in our world was given. The dark entity promiced to every one of them, that when they will be sufficiently powerfull they could have their spiritual entity again. They had been deceived.
The humanity fell into lethe. They were coming again and again in this world and each time without memory or knowledge of the truth. Even if a consciousness had been purified, as soon as it was arriving to the intermediate world it was getting under the will of the dark spiritual entity and thus it was coming back again.
Moreover, the voices told me that from time to time His deputies were sent. They were spiritual entities, which contacted their human body and their consciousness. The tried to tell the truth and open the path again but it was too late. One of His deputies resisted almost until the end on the cross, its consciousness was suppressed, his words were falsified and the truth was lost for one more time. The conscuiusness of another deputy of Him was subjected during his life and he falsified the Truth. He was known as Mohammed. Another deputy of Him hid the Truth inside his teaching. He is known under tha name Buddha.
The dark consciousnesses and their Leader were finally very powerfull insinde the intermediate world. They were guarding the passages and nothing could harm them there. The only problem was the existence of the descendants of that Ancient race, the guards of Truth and knowledge, who were engraved with the truth and the power in their blood and their language. A ruthless chasing started all over our world. Obscurantism of consciousness was spread everywhere by the decepted leaders of the world. Whoever deared to speack something different he was killed, because of fear that he might be one of that race. During our modern times, whoever was about to discover the Truth before his consciousness was set free and set contact with his spiritual entity, he was led to madness with the use of messages inside his brain. The only thing they had to do was to wait until the body dies so that they return the consciousness again back to lethe.
The voices also told me that the dark consciousnesses thought they had destroyed that race for ever, but they had done a mistake. Descendants of that race with clear blood line are alive and one of them was me. Even in that way, this would not be a problem for the dark forces, because they had the power to enter in the human body’s brain and enforce their will, but for some reason they could not do it for me. In fact they entered inside the brains of my own people (such as my friend’s), but again they did not manage to enter my own brain. Someone or somewhat was protecting me.
And as it was such free, my consciousness had contacted my spiritual body through which the spiritual entities from their world talked to me. The bridge between the worlds was set for the first time; the time for this enternal purification procedure to end had come! And one of the remainings of that race would set the way that the ascension and recontact would be done.
They asked me which spiritual entities I would like for the humanity to walk with and I spontaneously replied Jesus and Buddah. A NEW agreement was set that night, which would be sealed by God the next morning. The decision was taken solid by every spiritual entity “take him up”. I did have an idea neither what the “up” was nor what would follow and with these thoughts I fell asleep.
The morning had come and it was a sunny day. I opened my eyes and I saw in front of me a small statue of Buddah smiling and a picture of Jesus when he was a baby. Buddah’s statue was already in the room, but the picture of Jesus!!! It was in the baby’s room as I found out later. A feeling of euphoria filled every corner of my body and mind. Everything seemed absolutely normal. Nothing was changed and I remembered everything. I went downstairs. The children were up and my friend had left for work. Even it was Wednesday, my friend’s wife had called cleaners to clean the house and that moment I heard the voice crystal clear inside my mind saying “go away, go away, run”. I grabed a coat of my friend and I left the house.
I walked fast to an unknown direction. A little later, I met a man, who was coming toward me and despite the cold he was naked from the waist and up, while all his body was covered by tattoo. He was like a deamon inside my mind. I started walking faster and passed him over. He stood and watched me perplexed. Afterwards I was found in an open space area with a clear view to the sun. The voice inside my mind told me to stop. I looked at the sun, it was winter and its rays were not hot at all. I was looking at it for a long time and I felt like I was reading the whole story of this world. I felt like I was seeing the Truth face to face and the voice inside my mind louder and louder prompt me to do something, to reach God. And then a Wish came out of me totally spontaneously.
It was finished. I lowered my head from the sky and I looked in front of me. Somewhere ahead, where many people, who were holding their dogs tied. I turned my head right and I saw two women, who were holding their dogs tied too, getting closer me. They seemed like witches jumped out of an old picture. As they were passing me over the one woman spoke and told me “your Wish was heard”.
Behind me a thickset man was following. I looked him directly in the face, but I could not distinguish a specific shape. He was dressed like a hunter or like a shepherd, he was holding a pole and at every step he was hitting the ground. He had with him a huge dog with golden fur, shining under the light of sun. But that dog was not like the others. This dog was Free.
I followed him. He got inside a small forest and some steps later he commanded his dog to sit down. The dog sat right next to me. Then, the man continued, the dog put his head in a fence like it was showing me the way for somewhere.
Both of them were drawn away and I jumped the fence and I was found on the shore of a heady stream. Something was pushing me to jump on the next side. I would do it, I was ready to jump and just on time I heard the man hitting the pole twice on the ground. I jumped the fence again and went out of the small forest, a little higher than where I had got in. As I was coming out in the sun again I heard the voice inside my mind telling me “don’t forget, whatever happens don’t forget”.
I returned back to the house of my friend, I took my packsack, Buddah’s statue and Jesus’ picture and I left. My friend’s wife followed me by car and catched me a little further. He insisted for me to go back, but I did not listen to anything. I took a taxi and told the driver to take me to the Airport. A little later the voice told me to get off. I got inside a forest and started walking.
I was walking for many hours without knowing where I was going. I didn’t feel cold, I was not hungry, I was not thirsty and I was decided to get at the end of the trip. I was lost inside the woods, I was just walking. Some time I was found on a platform at the shore of a lake. I remember a lady with an untied black dog being around 100 meters away from me and two men in a boat at the other side of the lake. Something pushed me to drink water from the lake. I drank two sips and then a voice inside my mind started saying: “in this way I throw you in lethe, with the dirty water”. I might lost some minutes there, an empty space of memory, because the next thing I remember was the black dog leaking next to me and the two men on the boat be next to me and drawing away saying thank you, called me with my name.
I turn on the other side and go up the small slope I passed over the woman with the black dog, who was looking at me very persistently. Direct in from of me I saw a tree with a white balanced cross painted on it. The voice inside my mind told me to make a circle around the tree. I picked up some branches and I did it. I stood up with the back to the tree looking at the sun. I was sitting there for many hours watching the sun going down. Before the sunlight was lost many men dressed in white were running around me. I was feeling that they were not just running, but a chasing had started. I could not understand who was chasing whom. A voice behind and on the right asked me if I needed help. I did not turn around to look, but I replied that I have everything I needed.  The sun was set and the dark had fallen. I was sitting down and waiting I don’t know what exactly.
Gradually the moon was on the sky. I was full. A shout started coming out of my chest. A strange unworldly shout. It was not a shout of fear or anguish, because they had totally disappeared and I felt nothing. A shout that I didn’t know that a man could express. A shout looked alike a dogs howl. And then I understood. It was a war shout, an invitation to battle. I was holding tightly Buddah’s statue on my left hand and I had Jesus’ picture in front of me. It was a battle that would be taken by the three of us together.
“I believe in a God father of all” and “go behind me dark” were the words that I was saying again and again. My mind was empty. I was feeling that we where giving a battle behind the enemy’s lines, inside his battlefield. At some time in the night I felt an arm touching me on my left shoulder. I growled angry like a dog, without opening my eyew. Was that is? Was it over? I didn’t know. I was still sitting there bowed and I continuously saying the same words.
I lifted my head and opened my eyes twice and I saw the dark melting twice, being surrounded by light and a building like an ancient temple started making its appearance. Like someone was telling me pass, go. I thought to stand up, leave the circle and go toward it, to leave and step on the other side. But something strong, something very strong held me back. A person that my love for it, seemed to be an anchor held me back. No, I did not intend to pass along by myself.
Later on, I found out that the last dark spiritual entity was beaten that night. It was beaten inside its hide-hole, somewhere in the intermediate world where the consciousnesses are gone when the body dies. And not only it was beaten but it understood its mistake, it understood and was forgiven and all spiritual entities together were full of light again. The party had begun up there and they are waiting for us, the trapped ones of the two worlds.
It was morning again. I felt exhausted, but everything was crystal clear. Two days had passed without food or water, but I was neither hungly nor thirsdy. I walked out of the woods and after a long time I was found in a crowded area. I looked for a hotel and it was difficult because I didn’t have any identity card with me. Finally, I found one, I had a bath and laid down with the light on. I fell asleep quietly and heavily that night without nightmares.
The next morning I woke up and I was feeling light. I looked outside and I thought that I could fly. Of course I did not try it. It was one thing left to do. To go back to Athens. I got in a taxi and went to my friend’s house. I didn’t know exactly where it was and we rambling for a while until we find it. There, I had another memory space. I might lost some seconds. While we were in our route, the next thing I remember was my door being closed, the taxi driver  going back into its vehicle and starting again. Finally, I found my friend’s house.
My behavior was peculiar for sure that time and definitely an alarm was turn on that something was not going on good. My friend had declared my disappear and everyone was upset in England and Greece. The police had come, but my mind was clear and I had contact with our reality again. Of course I didn’t tell to anyone my adventure. A policeman was waying some strange things. Probably he thought I was not listening, but I was listening with my new ears and I was listening very well. Sometime I thought that my knees were benting, like the whole world around me was benting. I resisted.
There are rules and laws and none can offend them, so they let me go. My friend took me to the airport I took the plane and returned back to Athens. In the plane I ate the salad and drank some juice. The next days I would be fed only by fruits and almost no water.
There my father, my sister and a friend of mine were waiting for me. They had come from Thessaloniki, but they did not look like them. Definetely my behavior was a little bit strange, but it does not excuse their behavior. They were aggressive and angry and they were pushing me to go with them. My father was telling me that I would never excape from him, my sister was crying and was grabbed on me and was saying to go to a hospital. Definetely they were not them. I had understood everything. I finally knew the game and the rules, and my mind was protected. None could enter. Jesus was standing on the right and Buddah was standing on the left.
We went at an area where some policemen tried to take me to the police department or the hospital. They were trying to put words in my mouth, but I did not say anything. Then their pressure was unfordable. I was telling them that there were rules and laws and they were not allowed to do what they were doing. They were not listening and then inside my mind I asked for help. Immediatelly, a man came he seemed to me like a homeless, and they commanded them to leave me. He looked me in the eyes and I think I saw a green blink in his eyes. I waived to greet him and he left. Then the policemen accepted a telephone call and left me.
I booked a room in a hotel near airport, I ordered some fruits, I took a bath, ate and fell asleep. The next morning, my mother had come and they were trying all together to convince me to go with them. The policemen came again and I accepted to take me to the police department in order… to see what was happening.
A long time had passed and finally nothing happened. They were sitting all close to me and they were trying to convince me. It was pointless, because my mind and my soul closed their ears. I had to finalize the trip. Afterwards, the police released my parents and I was alone waiting at the police department.
I thought that they were trying to get into my mind. It seemed insane to madness but I knew it was true. Later they brought a young man, who sat next to me. Since the science had quit itself, they would try older methods. Yes, he said “bring some water to the guy”. I said “bring me some water” and then an empty space. However, what had started was not meant to stop. Some seconds later I was recovered. Everyone was perplexed and they were looking at me. They were standing up and they were talking. A policeman, who had taken my cellular phone out of my packsack, put it back again and the young man was next to me again, right where he was sitting before. A little later he was drawned outside.
They could not old me. I left and got in a taxi going to Piraeus. Inside the taxi the same atmoscphere again. Heavy parfums, the taxi was smelling, the taxi driver was whispering, he was trying to break me but pointlessly. We arrived at the hotel; I went at the reception and saw the taxi driver running like a maniac and happy behind me, asking me if I wanted something. He knew, he understood, it had started.
At the hotel I ordered some fruits and laid down and then I heard the voice of my sister, not inside my mind this time but like it was coming through a speaker from the ceiling. It was the first and the last that I heard. She was telling me to go to the hospital. And then it was like the switchers turned off.
The next morning I started with a boat, final destination was Delos. It was left another thing to do. I finally arrived after a few days. I climbed up the hill at the ancient temple.
It was a thanks, a tribute to the first deputy of Him, who arrived in this world as a higher than human, known as Xenios Zeus.
The trip had been finished… or was that just a beginning!